7 Bizzare Events Involving Vacuum Cleaners

Who could have thought that the practical vacuum cleaner could be responsible for deaths, sex and even the destruction of a 19th century British Ship?

1. Dwarf Penis Stuck In Vacuum Cleaner

During the Edinburgh festival this comedian planned to attach a vacuum cleaner to the end of his member.  However the attachment broke minutes before he was to go on stage. Daniel attempted to use extra-strong glue to fix the prop but failed to read that it required 20 minutes to set. When he finally joined the prop to himself it made a solid bond and the desperate comedian had to be rushed to hospital.


2. Builder Caught Making Love To His Hoover

A building site security guard was shocked to find a contractor in a compromising position with a Henry Hoover vacuum cleaner. The Henry Hoover model does come with eyes and a mouth but using it for a "sexual act" is not recommended by the user manual.


3. Bizarre Death of Church Organist

The Naked body of Church Organist - Ian Kemp was found in a plastic bag connected to a vacuum cleaner. The Coroner believed that Mr Kemp died when all the air was removed by the vacuum cleaner. It was believed that the accident was related to a sexual gratification technique that went horribly wrong.


4. Car Wash Sex With A Vacuum Cleaner

A resident from Swann Greek Township, Michigan called the cops when they saw a man acting suspiciously in a local car wash. Officers arrived to find a 20 year old man getting "fresh" with a vacuum cleaner.


5. Housewife Killed By Vacuum flex

A wealthy Irish housewife was found dead next to the household vacuum cleaner. The coroner later reported that the health housewife had been strangled with the purple flex of the family Dyson vacuum cleaner.


6.  Vacuum Cleaner Burns 19th Century Ship

After initial rumors of arson relating to the blaze that nearly destroyed the Cutty Shark it was finally revealed that the culprit was an overused vacuum cleaner. It was believed that the vacuum cleaner was left on over the weekend and then caught fire. The fire was said to have added $18 million to the cost of the restoration


7. Hamster Cheats Death After Being Sucked Up

Jack thought that his pet hamster - Rusher had died after being sucked up by his mums vacuum cleaner. Luckily for Rusher he was too fat to die and got stuck inches from the deadly suction fan. Jack's mum said she felt the vacuum cleaner jam and she opened up the machine to find Rusher the hamster stuck in the tube.


10 Responsesto “7 Bizzare Events Involving Vacuum Cleaners”

  1. bruto says:

    Cutty SARK, not shark. A cutty sark is a short dress or slip.

    How would the hamster have hit the fan unless he chewed through the bag or the filter?

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